It’s because they don’t even try!
In fact, tell me if this sounds familiar…
When it comes to approaching and starting conversations with women, most introverts shiver and shake and sweat at the mere thought of it.
In short, they fear rejection.
I get it.
If walking up to a woman isn’t something that you’re used to, it can feel like too much of a challenge. To some, even an impossible challenge.
If that’s the case, I want you to know it’s not your fault.
And you’re not alone.
Most introverted men have issues getting comfortable with the idea of striking up conversations with women they don’t know.
After more than 20 years of coaching introverted men, I discovered that certain approaches work like magic.
They make approaching beautiful women and chatting them up so much easier and risk-free.
If my students could learn them, I know for sure YOU can too.
With that said, here are my top seven road-tested word-for-word conversation starters to get you incredible results approaching women.
1. The Street Approach.
This one works great when you see a woman walking on the street.
Don’t approach her from the front, but first walk past her and then do a 180.
Start walking behind her, then gently put your fingers on her shoulder.
It should be as soft as a little tropical bird landing on her shoulder.
She’ll turn around, and voila! You can deliver the next opener:
You: “Excuse me, I’d like to tell you something.”
You: “I literally just saw you and I think you have a very nice… energy… and I wanted to come and say hi… So, hi.”
As you can see, it’s a compliment, but it’s a low investment compliment. I said,“You have a very nice energy.” I didn’t say, “You are SOOO BEAUTIFUL”.
Low investment compliments work much better than over-the-top compliments.
2. The Coffee Shop Approach.
Just like the street, this is a perfect venue to approach women because of its serendipity effect.
All women have dreamed about being approached in serendipity venues. It’s a fantasy they have from romantic comedies.
Here’s how to do it.
You just walk up to her and you say the exact same thing as you would on the street.
You: “Hi, excuse me. I’d like to tell you something.”
You: “I just noticed you from over there and I think you have a very nice energy. And I wanted to come and say hi. So, hi.”
As you can see, it’s the same opener, but here’s what’s crucial to do IMMEDIATELY after that opener.
You have to immediately let her know that you won’t stay there if she doesn’t want you to.
The reason you do this is because the situation is different from the street.
On the street, she can just walk away if she feels uncomfortable, so there’s less pressure.
But in a coffee shop, she can’t just walk away. I mean, she’s sitting there drinking something. Maybe she’s waiting for her boyfriend.
If you just keep talking to her in that situation and she doesn’t like it, she’ll feel very uncomfortable because she can’t just get up and leave.
Therefore, you immediately say the following after your opener: “Hey, listen, if you feel uncomfortable with me talking to you here, just tell me and I’ll leave. Are you ok?
By doing that, you give her a way out if she wants one.
You also build attraction by doing so. That’s because you showed social intelligence.
Social intelligence is an attraction trigger in women.
3. The Clothing Store Approach.
What better place to find beautiful, fashionable women than in clothing stores?
Here’s how you do it.
In this situation, you go for a less direct approach than when you’re on the street or in a coffee shop.
Here are two ways to do it.
The first is to ask her opinion on something you want to buy for yourself.
You: “Hi, can I ask you something? “
You: “What do you think of this shirt with these jeans?”
Let her answer and sense her receptivity.
If she’s friendly, chat some more.
If she doesn’t seem friendly, thank her and continue shopping.
Or, you could give her advice on something SHE’S picking out.
You: “I would definitely go with the pink. That shade was made for you.”
After she answers, introduce yourself.
You: “My name is Nick.”
Her: “My name is Jenny.”
You: “Nice to meet you, Jenny.” Shake her hand.
4. Partner Dancing Clubs.
Partner dancing clubs are a great place to learn to approach women for multiple reasons.
First of all, the ratio of women to man is fantastic.
And most men that are there are not good dancers, with the exception of the older men.
So, if you learn some basic moves, you’ll immediately stand out from your competition.
Second, women EXPECT you to approach them.
“Would you like to dance?” always gets you a yes.
Third, many times women will even approach you. You won’t even have to take the first step!
And fourth, dancing gives you a chance to immediately touch her and get comfortable with touching women.
5. The Gym Approach.
If you like fit and slim women, the gym is a great place to go.
Here’s how to start a conversation in the gym.
‘Would you mind spotting me for a set?”
After she spots you, you can thank her, and if she seems friendly you can continue the conversation.
6. The Bookstore and Library Approach.
Bookstores and libraries are great places to meet women.
First off, they are serendipity venues, which are always good places to meet girlfriend-type women.
And second, it allows you to shop for women based on your tastes.
For example, if you like women that are into art, go to the art section of the bookstore.
If you prefer women that are into personal development, then go to that section.
See what I mean?
Here’s a great universal opener that you can use.
“Do you want to know how it ends?”
Alternatively, you could say: “I read that book. It’s great. Do you want to know how it ends?”
It usually gets you a laugh.
And it works even better if the book she’s looking at is NOT a storybook—for example, a book about art or cooking.
By the way, you can use that same approach at the library.
7. The Bar Approach.
There are multiple ways to go about approaching women at a bar.
But going direct is pretty good because most men at bars use cheesy pickup lines.
So by going direct, you differentiate yourself from other men and you show you have BIG cojones. ????
The trick with going direct is to not compliment her looks, but instead compliment something she put a lot of effort into.
For example: “That’s a sexy dress you’re wearing. I noticed you earlier and just couldn’t get that dress out of my head.”
To pull this kind of approach off, you need to understand something.
You need to understand conversation invitations.
Conversation invitations are signals that women give off when they are open to talking to you.
In fact, they are signs of attraction.
Here are some of them.
• She gives you proximity. This means that she and her friends come stand closer to you for no apparent reason. This means she wants you to approach her.
• She smiles at you.
• She looks at you and starts talking/giggling with her friends.
Here’s a cool little trick for you.
Did you know you can elicit approach invitations even if women don’t give you one spontaneously?
Here’s how you do it.
When you see a woman you like, try to catch her eye.
And once you catch her eye, make some sign to her.
You could raise your glass, smile, or give her a head nod.
Just do whatever comes naturally. The goal is to get some kind of acknowledgement from her.
When you get an acknowledgement, it counts as a conversation invitation.
That’s because you started a conversation from a distance. That means you two are in conversation already nonverbally.
When you approach her after that, you will get a warm welcome.
It would be against social norms to be rude to someone that comes talk to you after you’ve already had a nonverbal conversation from a distance with that person.
Approaching women and opening conversations isn’t difficult.
Most men think you need some magic pickup lines or some complicated super-original openers, but the reality is that simplicity is best.
The opener’s purpose is just to open the conversation.
To do that, a simple “Hi” is enough.
In this article, you learned seven different word-for-word conversation starters that you can copy and use today.
But here’s the harsh truth. The conversation starter is just a starter. It won’t do you much good if you don’t know what to talk about after the opener.
For that you need to learn how to have natural, free-flowing conversations that build attraction, get you numbers, and set up dates.
The best place to learn how to do it?
My world-famous FREE webinar, of course: “The Five REAL Secrets To Becoming A Badass With Women”
It’s jam-packed with three hours of simple, step-by-step instructions that take you from feeling insecure and nervous with the ladies… to meeting and having confident, free-flowing conversations that get you dates with more women than you can handle.
I’ll even show you how to make them obsess over you BEFORE you even show up on the first date.
Fact is, my ABSOLUTELY FREE webinar has changed the lives of so many introverted men around the world that I’ve lost count.
Isn’t it time that YOU become one of them?
You can learn all the details and start SUCCEEDING with women 100% FREE right here.